I hold myself to a very high standard. Sometimes that turns into replaying mistakes on a mental loop, long after the moment has passed. Instead of learning and moving on, I get stuck. My focus drifts. My peace goes missing. Being present feels harder than it should.
Growing up in a
Christian holiness tradition shaped a lot of good in me, but I also picked up a
bad habit of equating mistakes with failure instead of growth. Grace was
something I believed in, but not always something I practiced on myself. I
often could not move past the mistake. Over time, that has left me tired, hurt,
and frustrated.
Lately I am learning to name this pattern and bring it to
God. Not to be fixed instantly, but to be held. Scripture reminds me that God
offers peace right in the middle of my imperfection. Help, not shame. Rest, not
endless self-correction. Jesus invites the weary and the burdened to come to
him, not with polished performance, but as they are, and promises rest for
their souls. (Matthew 11:28-30)
If you are wired like this too, you are not alone. You are
not broken. You are deeply loved. And you are allowed to lay your expectations
down, even the holy sounding ones, and receive the peace God is so ready to
give.
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